29 October 2006

I have been having problems posting and deleting entries.
Some error about my October Archive.
So, I am not gonna blog anymore.... until November comes.

And if its still the same. I am just gonna close down the blog.

- Autumn Moth
I say Blogger sucks
Sunday, October 29, 2006

I say Blogger sucks


Was reading 'Ask Expert' on Axcest.
Someone wrote in and asked about... bla bla bla.. yada yada
Here's part of the letter :p :

"I met this really cool guy a week ago. We really hit it off. It was like we had known each other forever, we had so much in common. But, he hasn't called me once all week."

Here's part of the reply from the Axcest Expert :
"It is possible that he lost your number and is just dying to hear from you. "

- Not very convincing. Not very likely either. But yaa.. there's still a possibility (Attn : Skeptical mode 'ON'). ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... Is it just me or am I being a b*tch for NOT buying that? Do you? Do you? Do you? I mean... hmph!

... Maybe I'm jealous if that's true. (Skeptical mode 'OFF') *sobs* I hope that's the reason why my phone hasn't been ringing these days too (yah.. IF only)

"I know this may not be what you want to hear, but, he may have been caught up in the moment, and when the moment ends life goes on."

- THIS, is much closer to reality. Yeah, now we're talking :p

It does not hurt if you know its worth the wait but really, no one should wait for anyone. Not mean, but just to be fair. And to help yourself stay away from misery.

BTW, I still have heaps of numbers of the people I met, and they never called back a f*ckin' single time after the meet-up *rant *rant *rant... BUT actually, so do I :p hahaha. Guess its a trend for not following up on 'lust' cases.

ROTFLMAO!

That picture on top, of course of course. Ya! (almost forgot), that's the poster for 'Sam & Jet 2 : The Revenge' - a theatre play by Man On Stage production. Its playing this early November. I wonder if its good. 'Feel' like watching.

But then again, usually when I 'Feel', its as close as 'Not gonna happen' ... or any other equivalent negative response for that matter :p . So, nope... I'm not watching it.

Let me know if you are. (Probably am gonna ask you to pirated-ly tape it down for me or something muahaha)
In This Game, You Wait
Sunday, October 29, 2006

In This Game, You Wait

28 October 2006

I must say it has been a good weekend so far. Had such fun with my friends over a 'mamak' session last night - I haven't had such good laughs for months! Boy! Yesterday was extreme. Catching up with friends are great - I laughed like mad. Like REAL mad! *Plastyk : in case you're wondering, its just me, Bliss, Danzer and Jackie Chan's daughter :p

Today's good too. Had a great and heavy lunch with Bliss at Jushi, good food good conversation. Haa... finally caught up with my life (and breath) after such dreadful illness and several incidents that took place over the past 1-2 months. Life is all good again.

Of course, its never a 100% 'good' . But lets just throw the rotten ones away.

I found my temporal answer =)
Short Memo
Saturday, October 28, 2006

Short Memo

26 October 2006

What do you have in mind lately?

I ......

I have plenty of dreams -
sweet dreams, bad dreams.. alot. Mostly sweet, but turns sour in the end. I prefer bad dreams. At least when you wake up from it, everything turns much brighter... ain't it?

I have, problems -
my own problems, your problems, our problems.. never ending stuffs. Unresolved issues that we can't afford to throw aside; unable to settle too...

I think alot about the future -
who is there for me? what will I be doing? what's gonna happen to my friends.. endless. It matters. It matters more when I felt I'm already in a difficult position now, whats more, the future.

I don't think about the past. I mean afterall, let bygones be bygones. Why reminisce on old memories when you should develop far more better memories ahead?

I don't, about the present either. Present moment hurts. There's just too much going-ons. Often, I'd feel pain from all sides of the wall. Living is hard, thinking about it is even harder. I don't see this as a negative thought. Neither am I running away from reality. Self denial you said? Not really. I don't know. I don't think about the present.


.... need an answer.
Overly too much
Thursday, October 26, 2006

Overly too much

TRES TRES CHIC
Mocean Worker

I'm so into this piece of music now . Catchy Tunes =)
Simple . Short . Sexy

' Supersonique . magnifique . Tres Tres Cool et Tres Tres Chic '
' ... et Tres Tres Chic '
' ... et Tres Tres Chic '

Translated to as :

Supersonic . magnificent . Very Very Cool and Very Very Stylish


I am repeating the song like Mad . Tres Tres Chic ~
Tres Tres Cool . et . Tres Tres Chic
Thursday, October 26, 2006

Tres Tres Cool . et . Tres Tres Chic

25 October 2006

All prepared, no where to go. Shoots! I need to take more than just fresh air at home. I hate you for not dating me out - YES YOU! WHOEVER you are...

I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!
I'm a slut!
I'm bored!
I'm bored!

He's busy, She's busy, They're busy, everyone's busy. And I'm lousily bored. Hmph.. I'll be throwing everything in sight soon. I'm gonna faint, I'm suffocating, I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm troubled, I'm .... noisy (but thats usual), I'm ... I'm ..... I'm.... hor...am I? Nehh, nope... thats a different 'sensation'. I'm SICK OF THE RAINY DAYS! I need more than just a TV and ASTRO at home, I need sex a punching bag to release my anger now!! *yawn*.. I can do some sleeping, but I just woke up, so nope.. no more meeting 'zhao gong' for me.

SIGH!~ Bottom line is, I've nowhere to go and thats bad. VERILY bad. And yes, I hate you.
My Afternoon SuCkS
Wednesday, October 25, 2006

My Afternoon SuCkS

24 October 2006

Some SMSes are nice. Some SMSes are sweet. Some annoys. Some are meaningful. Alot, meaningless.

I tend to save down nice SMSes onto my mobile, be it forwarded messages or not - SMSes that pleases me during that certain period of time - usually from a particular someone whom I'm fond of or likeable - not neccessarily a 'special' person, it could be from a nice friend.

But as time goes by, many things could happen. And when its bad news, these SMSes turn into sharp torns; so sharp it hurts badly. I'd want to delete them off. It aches to re-read those messages. But it also hurts to erase something that used to be so close to you; words and text that can make you smile, that could've made your day. Its a decision... not as big as deciding a marriage, not as small either as deciding what's for lunch.. but its still a decision - and a hard one (at least for me), because I know for the fact that I won't be laying my eyes on the beautiful words again.

I need to clear up my Inbox today, when I noticed.. there's SMSes from 'you'. Of course, things didn't turn out too well. I have my share of apology for not meeting up with your expectations. I don't know what to do with them. I wanted to press the 'Delete' button, but it aches to do so. The SMSes are still here in my Inbox. Ultimately, it would have to go. Its just a matter of time when I'd press the button. Awaiting the 'moment of truth'.
SMSes
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

SMSes

What can I say about this movie? Its beyond gorgeous. Yes, its a beautiful movie.. (literally)

Meryl Streep is definitely at her top form. She's a diamond in the movie. She's Miranda Priestly, editor-in-chief - the biggest name in the world of fashion magazine. Miranda is sharp.. she's a flawless diamond at her age. I like her character, a portrayal of high supremacy, of intelligence, of bold and distinctive individual.

Anne Hathaway is sexy. She's absolutely stunning. With her numerous dropdead hubba-hubba outfits from big labels, Hathaway's role as Andrea(Andy) Sachs is nonetheless trendy and chic. Andrea or better known as the 'second Emily' in the movie may not be a diamond, but she's definitely a glittering gem in the making. I like her character, of subtle mind, of profound charisma, and simply SMART!

A movie, I don't mind watching again.

p/s : CH looks better with glasses! =P hehe

------------------------------
Sidetrack a little, watched Formulae-17 and something 'more' too - THANKS Starwing! (although the file abit cacated cannot run properly, BUT ... I'm not complaining =D)
The Devil Wears Prada
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Devil Wears Prada

22 October 2006


I was in the car when I noticed something RATHER different. Hmm.. Now what was it? *Took me awhile before I go:* HEY! What's with those car lights? those break lights? the lamp post? Why so 'geng' wan ar? Is it the car mirror ar (you see, I was in my brother's car, so I thought he has got some super sunshades which creates abnormal reflection.. but hehe, I was bloody wrong) ?

Moth *blinks* and *blinks* again, and again... and realized, its not the mirror! Its the colour contact lense I put on (yeah, I'm on my misty grey eyes again). WTF!? Can you imagine seeing THAT KINDA effect (look at the pic on the right side on top) everywhere!? Like OUCH!? I was severely blinded throughout the journey - lucky it wasn't me driving! Gee.. some new discovery I made over the weekend. Not bad not bad...
New Discovery!
Sunday, October 22, 2006

New Discovery!

21 October 2006

Invisible Waves
http://www.invisiblewaves.com/

A Friday night is supposed to be relaxing and fun. The initial plan was to go out and catch up with a few friends of mine but it rain so darn heavily, the plan was cancelled. The darn weather tries to be funny these days and is always against my plan *urrgh!

So what else is there to do? You guessed it. I switched on the TV, turn to Channel 39 and watched a movie which is already playing halfway through. I caught the trailer some nights ago. It seems like an interesting movie. So I decided to go with it, since there's nothing better to do. The funny thing about this movie is that, I don't really understand what's going on, yet it keeps me wanting to watch it. Yeah sure, I read the synopsis.. roughly knew what's the plot and such but.. I just don't quite get what is being portrayed in the movie. Its dark... Its slow.. Its weird.. abit boring... but strangely enough.. I also find it interesting.

That got me thinking for a while. If I'm not comfortable with something, what keeps me going then? There must be some hidden element that attracts. Perhaps in this movie, its the mixture of languages and places and actors/actresses. Or it could be the music.

Then.. it got me thinking about my job. I've always complained about being busy at work, working with stupid clients whom I can't stand. But, while complains are complains, I do not intend to take any further actions - Not because I'm lazy, not because I dare not make the change, not because I'm not capable of making the change. Just like the movie, I believe theres more to all these negative statements.

Things 'seem' to be okay. There has been some rough moments with projects, with clients, with the management and with my colleagues - but personally, I do not find any big issues around. If I'm not comfortable, I would've quit - but I did not, and that tells me I'm still 'okay' with the current situation. Its not because I have no choice but to 'embrace' it ( as how one of my colleague put it these days ). Its also not because I'm letting myself succumb to the management. Its because I'm still fine with the place. If I'm not, I don't see the point of staying. Do you? I am definitely one who would rather make the first move ( spell R-E-S-I-G-N-A-T-I-O-N ), before things got worse later.. ( ie, kena 'fried sotong' )

I may have lost my passion, but I'm still a keen fan of the design world and thats important to me now. Rebuilding my passion is just a matter of time and place.

I hate my position at the moment, but I love my job. Do you guys understand where I'm coming from? Work place - u love em', u hate em'

p/s : Don't worry, I'm not quitting AGAIN hahaha. My resume is already looking bad with all the job hops within the last 2 years. LOL XD
A job to settle
Saturday, October 21, 2006

A job to settle

20 October 2006

Dear Oli, .... WHAT IS THIS-lar? GOT TAGGED pulak, haiyorr.. really must do this 'Four4s' thing-ar? If don't do, can ar? But if I don't do, like don't give face... hmmm.. okay-lar okay-lar, do-lar, do-lar ... see is you niarr.. ( kekeke, actually I don't really mind being tagged - since nothing to blog about anyway - and I dunno why I've been using lousy London these days :p - hope you guys don't mind .... no kids reading my poor England blog rite? Later parents come and sue me... haabis! )

Oh well, here goes :

4 Things many don't know:
I used to bite my fingernails. And ptuii...
I once 'tembak' on my Sejarah test paper and scored 100/100 (miracle!)
My room is not fully my room (cuz' alot of bro's stuffs are in my room)
I admire the Japanese culture - so much I believe I must have been a Japanese in my previous life... (or some Chinese traitor who aided the Japanese during WWII) :o :p

4 Movies I could watch over and over:
The Last Samurai
Moulin Rouge
While You Were Sleeping
Miss Congeniality

4 Places where I've lived:
Taman Desa, off Old Klang Road, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Nova Apartment, Elizabeth Street, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Taman Fook-Onn, Old Klang Road, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Grandparents' place, Some ol' kampung area, Kaohsiung, Taiwan

4 TV Shows I love:
Will & Grace - 'Jack McFarland' (Sean Hayes) is soooo adorable!!
House
Frasier
Friends

4 Places I've been on vacation:
Pulau Redang, Malaysia - with my fellow Insomniacs..
Pulau Perhentian (Kecil), Malaysia - with my fellow Insomniacs again..
Sydney, Australia - err... with my fellow Insomniacs
Singapore - ....... yaa, Insomniacs again...

4 of my Favourite Food:
Mom's Fried Chicken Wing
Assam Laksa
Blueberry Cheesecake
Penne Carbonara

4 Places I would rather be: (Gee.. this one's hard!)
Melbourne, Australia - ahhhh.. my second home.. :p
Kyoto, Japan - ahhh.. the historical city *drools*
Bali, Indonesia - ahhhhh... the balinese stylo!
Mr. Right's place - bahhh! No idea who and where, don't ask!

4 Favourite Songs:
Legend by Mika Nakashima - love the music video. enough said
Stand By Me by Shayne Ward - .... melting d.. melting d...
I wish you Love by Rachel Yamagata - *surprise!*
Your Song by Elton John - *double surprise!*

4 Others I wanna tag:
krayon
zhixing
satsao
qiqichan
Tag Attack!
Friday, October 20, 2006

Tag Attack!

19 October 2006

死了啦! Zzz Zzz...
超悶
Thursday, October 19, 2006

超悶

18 October 2006

Fireflies: River of Light (2003)
Yukiyoshi Ozawa, Risako Sugaya

Synopsis from Japanese Film Festival 2004

After finally passing his teacher’s exam on the third attempt, a young man quickly learns that passing an exam does not make him a teacher. He struggles to get through to his students, until on a field trip to the river, he makes an unconscious remark about fireflies, and suddenly all his students are paying attention. So he creates a class project to clean up the river and raise fireflies to fly over it once again. The students become passionately involved in their firefly project, but it brings their teacher into conflict with their parents, the school administration and even the city itself. Quietly he is told he can save his job by stopping the project, but he knows he cannot give up on the children. Believing in them is what teaching is all about…

--------------------------
When you Believe,
You plant the seed of faith in you.

When you Hope,
You set a goal to reach for.

Japanese movie, especially those that made it into International debut, never fails to amaze me, visually. The simplicity of its storyline never tends to let me down. There's always an element I look forward to - the quality of human interaction.

Hotaru no Hoshi - the story revolving the passionate hopes and dreams between a teacher and his class students definitely speaks more than just a mere 'bonding session'. Its about knowing, doing and accomplishing something - Something of importance; Of past, that may have been ceased and forgotten.. Of future, that may seem vague and surreal.
Hotaru no Hoshi
Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hotaru no Hoshi

17 October 2006

( ... An incident took place..... Oops.... *sigh* I knew Mom is definitely gonna ask 'the question again' )

Mom: *sigh... son, why didn't you have a girlfriend? Is it because you're choosy? You haven't met the one? You don't choose people? People don't choose you? Or is it because no one wants you?

Me: Easy. Just take it as no one wants me-lor.

Mom: Really? *sigh... I felt so bad now..

Me: Huh? I don't have a girlfriend.. why you feeling bad? What's it gotta do with you-lar?

Mom: Feeling bad because I didn't give you a handsome face. *sigh

Me: (-.-)" . Yaa... I told you the same thing last time already-luh... *SIGH.. IF ONLY you gave me a better looking face ( nawhh.. I don't mean it, just wanna be sarcastic )

Mom: *sigh.. Why don't you meet a girl. When-larr are you gonna bring your girlfriend home, let me see-lar? I see everyone also couple here couple there. Only my two sons at home...*sigh

Me: Aikss.. put it in another way larr then. IS ME don't want people-lor..

Mom: Hmm.. yaa.. maybe also huh. who knows? Also, your aunt has been asking about you, checking if you're attached. I also don't know how to answer.

Me: (-.-)"

Touchy issue. I don't like it especially when its One-to-One. It freaks me out at times, not knowing what I should reply. *sigh . Don't think the biggest lie would last long.. but there's nothing I can/will do either. Its not the right timing just yet.

Its not the parents' fault. DEFINITELY NOT MINE EITHER!! *sigh.. Sooner or later, they'll know why and they'll have to acknowledge the fact. As for now, just take it as... uhhh.... I'm choosy and I don't want to look a girlfriend yet-lor. Simple as that, albeit FAKE.
Who's Fault is this?
Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Who's Fault is this?

16 October 2006

Yunko: Hows your love life, work life, social life? No update aso..
Moth: Love Life NIL, Work Life SUCKS, Social Life? What's dat?
Yunko: Good answer
Moth: I know :)

Looks like I have not accomplish much lately. Gee.. am I proud of myself! =D

How's Yunko on the other side? She has got a new boy toy friend recently, so her Love Life must be darn good.. ever since she's promoted as AM, she's the one giving out the harsh orders.. am sure her Work Life is under control. Socially, she's actively clubbing around *ahem* and sharpening her PR skills with clients here and there.. am sure her Social Life is 2 thumbs up.

She must be doing darn well. Tsk tsk... what an accomplishment! THAT's so SAD right? I mean, she did everything NOW.. what's left to ponder when she's old? Gee... I felt for her. I really do...
*takes a deep breath* ... poor girl... *shakes head* .. poor girl...

XD ( just kidding laa, I'm not that mean ). In comparison, I might fail to live up to my mid 20s - especially the Social Life part. While everyone's fooling around club hopping, dear old me prefers to stay home and sip down Chinese Tea. And when everyone flirts with everyone, gazing through each other's eye at the dance floor, I stare at the TV set with probably Astro Celestial Movies or AXN on. And when everyone heads home drunk and flirtatious ( and probably settling for ONS ), here I am at home, updating my blog and my personal diary and thinking of the sei gwailo client I have to face tomorrow.

Sometimes I'd wished to go clubbing. But I don't like clubbing. I just wanna hang out there for the sake of .... uhm.. mm.. just being there so that next time I can proudly say, hey yaa.. I've been to that place, music's great, love the R&B room (etc-lar... example jehh). ... Nawwhh.. I take all those back. I don't really wanna go clubbing. The thought of vodkas and bacardis and JDs and redwine makes me sick ( SICK becoz I wanted to drink so BADLY! XD ). I would opt for a peanut butter jam sandwich anytime.

Sometimes I'd hope my friends can scrap off mamak and head off to somewhere much much more 'exclusive'; experience fine (okay, maybe not too FINE, I'm sure my several credit cards also not enough to settle the bill) dining, or hang out in lounges, jazz bars.. you know the likes of it. SOMETHING MORE CLASSY can or not? Ask them go buffet dinner also have to book several years... and yet still not happening any sooner (or so I foresee). *SIGH. Don't tell me they can't afford the money, that's bullshit. I would buy the reason a few years back when we're all still in college, using parents' money and all... but HARLO!? all of you working right now. Some Manager laa.. some Director laa.. some Senior this and that (that's me! XD), some can even afford a high-maintenance boy/girlfriend... what's a MEASLY hundred ringgit note to grab a nice dinner? Aiiiii.... my dearest friends.... aiii..... No comment.

And sometimes I'd wish to be much more extrovert. I'm tired of the 'automated spontaneous dumb mode switched on' whenever I face people whom I dunno or I'm not familiar with. If only I'm abit more outspoken, I believe I would've done well with my social life. SIGH. Or maybe, just maybe.... its gotta do with my proficiency in England. I don't speak good London you see... and we know HOW people ALWAYS prefer to converse in London during meetings, get together etc. "And it... H-A-R-D......~" Hmm.. yeahh.. perhaps language is the barrier here.

Hai mai lehh .. hai mai lehh.... mother ask you to learn England good good come last time.. dunt want to learn.. now regret ler... Really cry also no one ke-lian. =(

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... My social life. Kawai-so desu ne (pitiful)
Socially Speaking
Monday, October 16, 2006

Socially Speaking

15 October 2006

(While driving halfway home..)

Mom: So when are you gonna buy a house in Mont Kiara?

Me: ?!! Whoaa... Just because the houses there are nicer and the place is a well-known high standard living area doesn't necessarily mean its the best place to live in gehh.. Other places also got nice houses-mar.

Mom: Then get a house in this area-lar ( the area where we're currently living at )

Me: Don't want!

Mom: (Paused, then look at me one kind) If you have a chance, you'll surely move out and leave us right?

Me: Yes! I'm being frank to you right now. Yes, I would.

Mom: So unfilial of you!

Me: Tsk! What unfilial?! Me moving out have no connection with me being filial or not. Its two different story.

Mom: Same thing-lar! You want to move out away from us.. that shows you don't respect us already-lor. When a child wants to move out, it means they don't like their parents-lor.

Me: ( =.=" ) Haiyaa... like I always said - When you have that kind of mindset, I say anything also no use geh-lar.. You want to think that way I cannot do anything-lor right? I choose not to say anything further already. (Quickly change topic....)

Yepz, I made myself clear this time. I'd move out if I have the chance to. Its not entirely a selfish thought. At least not how I'd perceive it to be. Moving out means learning to take up responsibilities, learning to handle situations (spoon-fed no more), and knowing how much I'm capable of supporting myself - These are vital to me at the moment. Something I'd like to know and find out myself. Reason unknown.

------------------------
Parents. They would expect you to stay by their side till old - and when I say 'by their side', they mean it literally. My mom is the conservative type. She would want her children and their future family to ALL stay together under one roof. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I doubt I'll be staying together with my brother and his family. I do mind! (despite the hurtful fact that I might end up single and staying alone somewhere someplace... hoo boyfriend, where art thou? hehe..)
Being the honest me
Sunday, October 15, 2006

Being the honest me

13 October 2006

  • My tagboard is down. I have it completely removed from the blog. Sigh. I really miss my tagboard. I used to feel so much closer to you guys when the tagboard was around.
  • Today is Friday 13th.. wow... I didn't know till I turn on the radio this morning.
  • I chatted up with one of my ex-colleagues just to see if he's interested working at my current company - we're glad to offer him a place. Small field eh?
  • One of my other ex-colleague which I don't really know wrote in to apply for a position in my current company. I don't like this cocky fella - pain in the ass when it comes to work and off-work (socially). Small field! sigh*
  • CH wasn't feeling okay today. Little did I know he... *sigh* ... oh well, he'll be okay. I'm sure he'll be okay. Everyone just need time to heal. Have faith pal!
  • Millfross still catches up on my blog. That's a big surprise of the day. I thought she totally forgot about this secret chamber of mine.
  • No wonder I don't fancy gwailos - They expect you to just know what they have in mind and read it clearly as if you're Jean Grey or Professor X or something.
  • I can't believe they actually asked for 'tolong-menolong'. Please read the beautiful story here. HEY GO READ IT LAA, DON'T SKIP THE LINK wei!!~
  • I just realized I won't be naming my future son/nephew 'Bart'. Strictly personal reason. If you happened to be a Bart and stumbled into my blog... I'm so so sorry - my apologies (can't entirely blame me either). If you happened to be the Bart I'm referring to, .... please f*cKoF*As*far'ass' possible! I just wanna let you know, how much pain you caused me... THANKS a bozo heaps hmph!
  • That femme in the office is really ..... happening. Been clubbing at Z*uk for 1 whole week straight down! and not getting least drunk.. What-lar this married woman!.. tsk tsk..
  • Qiqi in the house hates it when I call her name without reason. I always do that to my Mom - no complain from her woot. That shows your name is beautiful. C'mon, be proud hey!
  • I've been bonding with my not-so-close colleagues. Mostly because we're working on the same project. Not bad not bad. Keep it up. I have to speak up MORE than usual.
  • Feels good when some clients know and understand what you're good at and trust you with the job. Such an ego boost. Not like some gwailos... *ngum ngum ngum ngum*
  • I'm on Magnum classic and suppers again. Plan 'To get fat' is back with an ultimate aim for getting back in shape A.S.A.P. Make way people, the ex-president of Fatness First is here to claim his title again!
  • I really miss my tagboard. *sniff*
  • I dunno what I want lately. To free or not to lance? To earn or not to greed? How ar How ar? Sibeh tempting freelance job. Why-lar, you put me in such a dilemma?
  • I still can't believe there's a chapter call 'tolong-menolong' in Pendidikan Moral - its so so wrong... oh my gawd. Thank god I didn't excel in that subject or else I would've been put behind the bars by now. ( I'm selfish and proud of it :pPppPPpP )
Unexpected lots
Friday, October 13, 2006

Unexpected lots

10 October 2006

I am weak. I am sick. I don't feel comfortable at all. I need a break, but I forbid myself from taking a day or two off. I know I needed more than just a day or two.

Something is wrong. I should've taken a blood test. But I did not. I don't like the smell of hospital or another medical centre. I don't fancy the idea of me getting in and out of the hospital again. I don't want doctors or nurses coming back to me, telling me something something is wrong and I need to be admitted blah blah blah. Yes, I am rather pessimistic at the moment. But that's what you get when you're being too optimistic about your own condition, i.e coughing and returning fever which has been continuously ruining your health for the past one month - I'm okay. I am sure I'm okay. Aside from the rapid weight loss, there's really nothing wrong with me.. well.. almost - I can feel my heart weakens... now now, don't give me any surprise this week. I don't think I can bear surprises now.

Perhaps its the medicine which I took couple of days ago which made me feel uncomfortable - must have been the strong dose of cough syrup and antibiotics; I am pretty sure its regiment for the elephants. Sigh.

- and I realized I am a workaholic. Or perhaps, we needed more hands in the department. I'll give myself a good break after Thursday, when the pile of shits I'm handling now are settled. I am tired now. Hope to blog again soon....

Don't miss me. Muaks!
Weak
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Weak

04 October 2006

Mr. Degree and Mr. Advanced Diploma

Finally got my babies dressed up in a nice frame.
Its been some time (Yeah, like reaaaaaally long)
Awww *shucks... you guys look great today! Cute!

GREAT!
(*sigh, but too bad... I dunno where to hang you both.
Hmm.. looks like you'd be lying against the wall on the
parquette floor till I can think of a better place... MuaHaHa!)

Nevertheless, I'm still proud of you two!
(Dang! Its already three(3) years since I graduated.. time flies)
Meet my Boys..
Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Meet my Boys..

This is bad. I am losing weight. Oh noo.... I'm gonna turn into a stick!! I knew my waistline got smaller (probably by a few centimeters - due to loss of appetite lately, *cough *cough... I'm still *coughing), but I didn't realize my weight went straight down too (I just weigh myself like 20 seconds ago). I'm now down to 63 kg. THIS IS NUTZ! Oh NO!! Must eat MORE already - I need to begin mission pigging out d (geee... suddenly McD's came into my mind - ya ya I know its 1am now so what? *oink*)

I'm NOT gonna let myself shrink into an 'S' size. That's pathetic, and more pathetic when I imagine me height vs. me weight in 'S' size clothing... Eww....No way!! Plus plus, its already hard to look for pants at the waist size of 29"/30" (men) these days. If it get anymore smaller, its DOOMSday for me then. SIGH... too fat cannot... too thin, I'm worried - why so difficult to please gar? Tsk tsk... My life is so contented... (ya... with rubbish and crappy nonsense like this)

Life~ woH Life~ OH Life~
63 at 04.10.06
Wednesday, October 04, 2006

63 at 04.10.06

02 October 2006

What else can go wrong today? A REAL BIG 'sigh'

So what happened (again)? It was ONLY 11pm (still early), I couldn't sleep yet, so I took out my phone, started browsing through my phonebook and began to sms a friend of mine ... guess what? my friend replied.... but I don't quite like what I read. The conversation went something like this:

'Hey, long time no message you d, still alive?'
'Scared to message you'
'Why?'
'Dunno'
'K. Well, you don't have to if you don't want to...'

Scared to message me? Dunno why!? I don't bite, at least not through the phone or SMSes. That's a rude thing to say. And without a proper reason? Like... OUCH? Now what went wrong and what have I done to deserve all this shits?

Dumb fingers.. you should've just leave the mobile phone alone and head to sleep! Why am I torturing myself tonight with so many additional 'moves' that I shouldn't have taken? A simple SMS and it aches me now in the heart. This is bad. I really could use someone's shoulder now. ANYONE!

Maybe I'm oversensitive. Maybe I over-reacted a lil'. But that kinda response sure hurts. For someone I haven't been catching up with for quite a long time and that's what I get? Sheesh.. man.. I really should just fuck myself to sleep than to have my itchy fingers laid upon the keypads of my mobile phone.

* The conversation doesn't end there. There's still a few couple of 'how have you been lately' kinda lines that follows. But that's about it. Nothing more (not to mention I'm already feeling moody.. so I ended the conversation just like that). That's 'cold', but I reckon' thats the best move I've made today. Yah... end -period-
mental Torture..
Monday, October 02, 2006

mental Torture..

FUCKING PISSED! What do you mean when you have less friends, you're useless? So when you've bloody lots of friends, that makes you a king? Then why didn't I see them by your side when you're in trouble? Let's just face it, having lots of friends don't get you anywhere; sure you know alot of Datos, Tengkus, YABs, so what? You ONLY NEED a few good and close friends in your life and that's more than enough - enough to make my life worth living for. And you don't fucking understand because you don't even have a single close friend in your life. Your 'friends' are merely strangers who walked into your life and took (and still taking) advantages of you.

You want me to shut up, FINE. I will do as you said. I am useless, he is useless, everyone closest to you is useless. I am used to it anyway. Why do I even bother 'communicating' with you in the first place? Bad move. Definitely wrong choice. Haa.. I only have myself to blame now it seems. My own fault. Should've kept my mouth shut, cause' there's no freedom of speech in the house whenever you're around - I shall mark that down.

My day was filled with laughter and rich chocolate banana cake and I had a tremendous satisfying day until you SO TOTALLY spoil it now. Thank you. Don't blame me for showing you the shitty face I have with me right now. You somehow asked for it.

It does feel good letting it all out. *takes a deep breath*
I have my bad days too..
Monday, October 02, 2006

I have my bad days too..