31 December 2006

The last day of 2006. Boring afternoon. No plans at the moment. Feel like hanging out at friend's place. Just do nothing and laze around. But if that's the case, staying home sounds much more appropriate, right?

*Yawnn..(stretch stretch)*

Happy New Year to all of you my Dears, Darlings, Honey, Cotton Candy, Cupcakes, Honey Bee, Lambie Pie, Sweetie or to put it in another way- Good Friends, Enemies, Crushes, Apa-apa-laaa..

See ya guys next year!!
Bing.Bong
Sunday, December 31, 2006

Bing.Bong

30 December 2006

At first, I planned to blog about something nice. I was in quite a cheerful mood today. I wanted to blog about the compliments I received, I wanted to blog about the wrong number incident that happened days ago in the office. I was so looking forward to add in one more nice happy entry before 2006 comes to an end. But Heck, seriously.. you can never expect what comes along in the next few seconds - that occurs to me, was a severely fucking shit which got me bloody down at the moment, I had wanted to shout out loud. Friends were out clubbing, No one's online. I desperately need to talk. I need to rant. I'm so FUCKING PISSED right now, I'm breathing heavily I can feel my tears flowing out anytime soon. All I want is just peace at home. Is that too much to ask for?

I don't mind staying home. I don't mind what my friends say. I don't mind if I don't have a piece of my LIFE. I chose not to go out. I chose not to hang out with my friends. I know I'm needed at home - and thats what kept me here. HOME. Now I don't need you to be in perfect shape, I understand you have your issues to deal with, but so do I, so does everyone else in the household. All I look forward is just a quiet night where I can do my things, you can do yours - we don't interrupt each other. I don't know what's the fucking problem with you and your shit ass brain. Can't you just goddamn look after yourself once in your entire life? Is that so hard to do?

Life doesn't only revolved around you. We can just dump you aside and not do anything. We can just disappear from your life if you find us annoying. Speak up your fucking mind. I felt so stupid now for staying home when I could've spent more quality time with my friends. I don't need you to appreciate my presence here at home because I know you'll never fucking understand why. I am tired too. All of us are tired. There is just too many things on-going, and there's alot of things I can't speak up as spontaneous. I have to hide alot of things to myself. Its not easy for me. Not at all damn you! NOT at all. Why must I face the same shit at my workplace and at home? If I could, I would've say alot of things out. I would've shut your god damn mouth even if its gonna turn bad. The good news for you is I can't. And I can never do that - not in front of her. She's what that matters. NOT YOU. I don't give a fuck about you since the beginning. I don't want her to suffer. She deserves her own life too. She's not obligated to take care of fools who doesn't even know or plan to take care of themselves. I felt for her, not you.

I really can't see what I can learn from you. Thats how bad your impression is - and you're aware of that yourself. Yet you never learn. You would never ever in your entire life tolerate and understand what your family really wants from you. All you know is you're always right. You're so fucking right about evertyhing and every fucking man by your side would have to bow to you and to your orders.

I don't know how to respect you. Perhaps you can teach me and show me what's there left for me to do so?
I should learn to fuck Off
Saturday, December 30, 2006

I should learn to fuck Off

28 December 2006

2006 is all about building up a character on a bigger stage

It has been interesting. I'm exposed to alot of things, learnt alot, seen alot - I must say every step, choice and decision I made throughout the year has led me to a bigger stage. I'm glad I made such move. I reckon' changes are good - but with a valid explanation, be it an excuse or a reason. I've made alot of new friends too, interesting people they are. Some weirdos, but thats fine. Heh

So what's up this year?
  • Swimming. Under the intensive training conducted by Bliss (not entirely, but I just feel like giving her some credits), Moth finally swims.. ala froggie style. Not bad an achievement!
  • Yoga. The aim for the year is to tone up - body, mind and spirit. I must say, yoga is fun and its really interesting, its amazing to see how far your body can 'stretch'. Too bad, can hardly find time to attend classes these days. Yup, I know... excuses.
  • Colour Contact Lense. Me and my misty grey eyes *wink* . Ya know, colour contacts can be a real good accessories. It can totally change how you look and carry thyself - personally find it a good investment, it rocks! *wink*
  • Blondish Green Hair. Enough said - the hairdye was excellent. LOVE it to the max (though the green fades fairly easy .. what a shame)
  • Badminton. Whoaa.. first time in my 25 years... WHoaa... badminton racket...Whoaaa.. versus QiQi... Whoaaa..... in formal working clothes.... WHoaaa.... Amusing but proud!
  • New Babies. New phone, New watch, New glasses. TA-Daa~
  • Facial n' Skincare. Experimentation with skincare products are torture (excluding papaya mask :p) - the more reason for me to sign up with a facial salon, wakakakaka. Oh well, I haven't got time to go for my next facial cleansing session. Pimply face already :( Yepz, excuses again...
  • Role as a Sr. Strategist. Yupz, I'm still with the 'new better job' (only, its not really that 'new' anymore hahaha, more than a year ady lorr). Its not a tough job, but it ain't easy either. Living up to the title requires more than just design skills but alot more too in terms of human interaction, communication and handling ones' EQ. I think I've achieved quite alot this year. Not excellent, but surely good. I'm beginning to see where I'm heading (or wanting to head to).
  • Credit Cards. Not really something to be proud of, but... biar-laahh, bagi I satu chance menge-show-off-kan Kad Kredit baru ku dari CitiBank (Clear card) and UOB (Vox card). *Swipe like nobody's business...Haiyyyyak! I SWIPE!!*
  • In Love. then OUT of love... , damn.. I dun even know if its even love. Crush maybe? Gawd~ One thing for sure, I'm in love with Shayne Ward's 'Stand By Me'. And another thing I'm sure, damn, its almost 2 years now... *sigh* ... when? ..WHEN-laa when? Tequiero.
Noticed I didn't mention anything about my super sexy 6-in-1 unflat-abs ? ... Well, thats cause' I still have it with me, ahiaks (sobs). Obviously I couldn't meet up with my 2006 resolution, but I've decided to bring it forward to 2007 :p . You just wait!

There goes another year. Oh my gawd... 2007 minus 1981... oh my gawd.... I'm turning... OH GOSH! Its sickening to introduce myself as '26 chi KL' next time. Sei old BGB. LOLOL XD

What's the remaining 2007 mya resolution(s) ? Dunno yet. Play more and work less maybe.. *DREAM ON*
Looking back a few months then..
Thursday, December 28, 2006

Looking back a few months then..

23 December 2006

To an angry person, - I sure hope you'd drop by someday and read this, because while you're happily on your way now to enjoying yourself on a weekend night, here I am wondering what went wrong and why.

You asked me for the reason. I made my point clear to you. You did not explain your reason, but rather, wanting me to understand where you're coming from and that its hard for you too. Yes I am beginning to see your side of story. Yes, I understood.

I need to re-emphasize my point, just so, you are well aware that I'm not comfortable with the way it is. But you left the conversation with a 'nvm' and 'night'.

Obviously, you're mad about something.

I can't always make sure I'd say the right thing - things you would want to listen to. I don't blame you for being angry with me. I'm sure you have your reason - But I won't be able to tell what went wrong because I'm not you. Moreover, you didn't explain yourself clearly in the beginning nor gave me a chance to ask why - why were you angry?, which statement of mine triggered such event?

You log off in your usual 'away' mode. You told someone you were angry with me. You made it look as though it is my fault. Perhaps it is, perhaps not. I dunno. But my point remains that you have successfully made me felt angry, upset, guilty, and uncomfortable after your last message.

...... I appreciate what you did and that you were thinking on my behalf all these while. But no one's gonna understand what you have in mind if you don't let it out. I, for one, don't.

Seriously, you are a nice person. But.....
Hard feelings?
Saturday, December 23, 2006

Hard feelings?

I just realized it is not easy getting a birthday present. The fact that you will be giving out something that speaks to you so much to someone else is *pain* not an easy task. Hahaha :p . I WANT IT for myself so badly, but what to do ? I can't possibly choose a 2nd best and tell myself its OKAY since its not for me, rite?... *darn!!*

So I bought Victorinox's Maverick II for Criffon. Hope he likes it. HE BETTER BE. And since there's no turning back, he must like it. Yes, I'm forcing him to like it and take it. But of course, alternatively, he can always GIVE it to me (muahaha) - I don't mind least bit. I'm sure he don't mind if I 'borrow' it once in a while... but nehhh... I'm very particular about MY things and HIS things (must draw a line).... or any other ppl's belongings for that matter. I am starting to understand how he feels whenever he sees me in the Seiko watch that he gave me for my birthday years ago. Obviously he must have LOVE the watch himself. Its... an emotional torture *sobs.. my baby...*sobs*...

Anyway, this is the 1st time I bought him a birthday present in my whole 25 years life (so far). Also my first time getting a birthday pressie for a guy ..... well, its good I'm learning. BLeh! And horr, I had almost wanted to scream when I saw the price tag... its WAY out of budget YES. But those within budgets are just so-so. And I don't want to get a so-so.

Brotherly Love, ahiaks! (actually, I don't like the 2 words. It sound so gay, but thats the best to describe ini macam mya scenario.. so phuck it LOLz)

* By the way, this is supposed to be a surprise . So, hush hush ya.. Can't wait to see his expression * (Awww.... so sweet. How I hope I'm actually buying this for my 'partner'. Destiny, tsk tsk tsk)
The time now is...
Saturday, December 23, 2006

The time now is...

22 December 2006

.... dumb questions, one after another. Ma is sickening. Enough of your 10 faces.

.... Do is nice, but won't thoroughly understand the situation.

.... so I decided to walk around, up and down. I stopped at Fs's place. I have this urge to walk further into Dm's room; the door is open. In fact, I was already staring at him, but my feet just wouldn't leap on another step.

.... and I stood there staring at him for quite some time, at least 2-3 seconds. He noticed I was staring at him. I just kept quiet and turn back to Fs.

.... was told not to do it. Took the advice and went back down. Still, I couldn't help but started drafting out the email to De. I recalled Diss's advice to do it after new year. But 2007 seems so far, I don't want to wait any longer.

.... frustrated he seems or at least annoyed in some way too. I had always wanted to talk to Das. Then again, I am not sure if this is appropriate and I don't know how much Das can help.

Do or Das, Das or De, De or Dm ?
I am a Diss too
Friday, December 22, 2006

I am a Diss too

This is getting really unhealthy.
The more I keep it to myself, the more unbearable it seems.
I'm not in a good mood lately.
And that's because alot of things remain unresolved.
I was supposed to talk to you already.
But we postponed it, seeing that its not a good time to talk.
But if this continues,
I doubt there'll be a 'good time' any sooner.
So I guess I'll have to voice it out.
The sooner, the better.
Christmas is arriving, so I'll let you go for now.
I don't want to spoil your holiday mood.
Nor take away your Christmas spirit.
So I'll do it, a week from now.
I don't understand alot of things lately.
I need to know where I stand at the moment.
I need you to tell me how far I can go.
What do I mean to you?
What am I to you?
I will tell you my plans.
As transparent as possible.
I am more than glad to input my opinions.
I am more than glad to suggest alternatives.
I have very high expectations.
But I'll leave it up to you to design the game.
I hope you understand what I am going through.
The very least, listen to what I have got to say.
I may not always be right, for there is alot for me to learn.
But so do you - Afterall we're all young and inexperience.
Don't defend, don't be cynical.
The more you cover up, the more complicated this will be.
I am not speaking for myself, but others too.
Treat this upcoming discussion as a healthy meeting.
One which, after, I'd hope to see some results.
I don't care if it'll take you a year to change things.
I don't care if I'll still be around to notice the change.
Just do something, for god sake.
We'll be talking casually, in gentle manners.
We'll speak based on facts and logical approach.
There will be things on a personal level,
but rest assured its harmless.
I hope you can see my effort. I hope you can see where I'm coming from.
I have high hopes on you.
I could've wrote down your name here. But I chose not to.
I don't want to reveal who you are, what you do.
The thoughtful me know something is best kept -discreet-
So now, don't let me down, on this season to be jolly.
I really need to let it out.
It is sickening.
As professional as I can be, there's always a limit.
And I have reached the limit today.
That means something must have gone wrong.
Excuse me if I need to shout.

"YO DI LEH DI HOO~"

- from an extremely tukauchatlan Moth at 12:54am
Questioning my Role n' Responsibility
Friday, December 22, 2006

Questioning my Role n' Responsibility

20 December 2006

01. Your dominant hues are green and blue.
02. You're smart and you know it,
03. and want to use your power to help people and relate to others.
04. Even though you tend to battle with yourself,
05. you solve other people's conflicts well.

06. Your saturation level is very high
07. - you are all about getting things done.
08. The world may think you work too hard
09. but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going.
10. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people,
11. because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.

12. Your outlook on life is very bright.
13. You are sunny and optimistic about life
14. and others find it very encouraging,
15. but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

from the Color Quiz

I find 03, 04, 05, 07, 08, 09, and 13 rather accurate.

I find 02 extremely flattering (ahiaks, I have always thought so too :p)

I find 10 and 15 to be really good advice.

I am not too sure about 01, 06, 11, 12, 14 .. perhaps you can tell me.
Aqua #00FFFF
Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Aqua #00FFFF

Yepz, I'm back on track. There's alot to blog about these days, I dunno where to start. Let's just stay, hmm... overall, its more of a 'better' than a 'bad'.

Guess I'll start off with this --

Dear Qi-chan, yes you are right, its definitely not gonna be easy for me without your presence around. But we're all well aware (since Day 1 ... or at least after we got to know each other better) that such separation would take place someday sometime - its just a matter of 'when'. We just have to adapt and learn and to move on. And like I've mentioned to you a few hours back, I'm already adapting to it.. so I guess I can handle my days without your vibrant soul around (fingers crossed). YOUR UPCOMING DAYS in your new place won't be any better WITHOUT me around either .. that time we'll know who's more important to who .. :p (chehwahhh, perasan mode ON ON ON!!)

I'll miss your voice (pestering, hiao, cute, etc), your every bits of action, the way you 'K-ny~' me, you way you say 'Hou sui gerr~' BUT rest assured I won't miss you until like , ".. OMG!! OMG!! I'm f*cKin BORING... I'm suffocating already... I am GONNA DIE .. I aM GONnA dIE.." those kind (anymore). All the best Qi-chan. p(^^)q

----

I finally saw the ad that Mom went for the audition. Its the 'Pei Pa Gou' TV ad. Chehh.. the role she's fighting for only appears for less than 3 seconds. A good thing she didn't get it :p CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FACE properly... then swoooshhhh to another scene (but hearsay the pay is good).

----

Close friends of mine will know I 'like' to shop. But apparently, its not 'shopping' (as in buying things) that I like, its the whole process of trying on different clothes that I really enjoyed. I don't care if I can afford to get it or not... that's not important (not like I'm really that RICH anyway), I just wanna acknowledge the fact that 'OooOo.. this piece of thing looks good... on Me!! Wakakaka!! XD' . AND NO, I AM ALWAYS NOT READY to get formal working clothes. NEVER!! NEVER!! NEVER!!

----

Today someone said I was being cold to him. That's not the case. We're just not close. We can hardly initiate spontaneous conversations (at all). And I care about the statement he made because I don't want to be perceived in such way. *Sigh.. You don't understand... and I don't really see my point of explaining why am I so , so , so.. to you. Its hard for me also weii... Point is, I'm not cold to you. Case close. Cheerios!

----

Hwannie made me confused, am I living in 2006 or 2007 now? We were chatting and discussing about annual leaves and she kept pointing this year as 2007. For a second there, I really thought its ALREADY 2007 this year and all these while, I got my year WRONG. I started asking myself but heck... I don't remember me writing down any '2007' on any piece of paper. Guess who got mixed up apparently? Eesssshh.. Hwannie...eeessshh *shakes head*

----

Its funny how a few good straight guy friends of mine started talking about fashion and skin care with me these days. Not like I have any problem with that, but HOW COME-ar? Is my fellow friends starting to get really uber/metrosexual ? or they got so rich these days, they can afford to buy HELL LOTS of THINGS? or... it has always been their interest, only that I've never actually noticed it? Anyway, you guys are fabulous. You sure know your stuffs. Hehehe. SHOPPING le weii!!

----

First it was E, then it was A - I feel glad.
First it was E, then it was A - I feel awkward.
I must say, I'm flattered. Thanks... but..

----

December will be over soon. Will need to review my overall performance in 2006 and setting new year resolutions soon. Time flies.. Yet another lonely year (sob)

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
And a Happy New Year!!
2006 or 2007 ?
Wednesday, December 20, 2006

2006 or 2007 ?

11 December 2006

'Busy'
Some really mean it. Some don't.
Those who dont, its either they're trying to..
Stay away from someone.. or
Ignore someone.. or
They just feel like it.. or
They simply forgot to switch it back to 'Online' or any other mode for that matter.

Any other reason(s) other than the above-mentioned?

I believe and I know there is. Tell me more, if it comes across your mind. Do share..
MSN Today
Monday, December 11, 2006

MSN Today

07 December 2006

Hangover, can't sleep and you called me on the mobile. Told you I was in the office but you kept yadaa yadaaa quack quack quack about this and that and informed me you had some what-Christ-what-mas-what-Lunch and your company is closing from Dec 22 onwards till god-knows-when... I'm JEALOUS!

I'm jealous because.. (Top 10, in random order)
  1. You're already at home, and you're 'trying' to sleep, while I'm still in the office? HuLLO Australia~
  2. You had ALCOHOLS? Damn,.. I can't even remember when was my last sip of vodka... or beer.. any beer! Not even 'Shandy'. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh -.-"
  3. You'd be having breaks from Dec 22 onwards? Technically speaking, it doesn't really matter, cause' you'd be back here in Malaysia on Dec 16.. but thats not the point. THE POINT IS *boohooo* *sobs*, your company --> Dec 22 --> HOLIDAY~! *BOO-HOO~* And I'd still be working my ass off meeting datelines. Fair or Unfair? (Echoes: Unfair!). Yeps.. I thought so too..
  4. What-Christ-what-mas-what-Lunch huh? All I have today is just a large bowl of prawn mee and a glass of herbal tea and some currypuffs and some cookies! Nothing christmas-ish, .... oh Not really, I gotta rephrase that.. I do have something christmas-ish, which is the paper Origami Christmas tree made by Hwannie, a colleague of mine - so sweet of her XD - but its not edible you see...
  5. You have the word 'Manager' in your designation. Hmph!
  6. Your phone bill is like so-totally F.O.C. Is it really THAT cheap overthere? I'd 'pokai' if I talked to you that long on me Maxis network.
  7. You'll be on a plane soon (and you'd get to say 'Hi' to Care bears..Hmph!)
  8. You're younger than me. You made it so f*cking clear that I'm older than you. Ya you were 23. I was 24 then.. Baa!
  9. You're a female and its so easy for you to say the word 'MY boyfriend'.
  10. I'm jealous because... You're beautiful, You're beautiful.. You're beautiful, its True (if I'm not mistaken, you're sick of this song rite? Please say yes, if not it defeats the purpose)
But above all, Thanks for calling.
I may not always appreciate your phone calls/smses/emails/msn messages.. hoo boy... but-taa.. do keep em' coming once in a while =) because that shows you care *sob* *touched*

But the thing is... I don't really care you see? Tsk.. this is tough *eyes rolling* ... You tell me what I/You should do, biatch!
Bee Stung Lips NO MORE!
Thursday, December 07, 2006

Bee Stung Lips NO MORE!

06 December 2006

7 pm, PC switched off. ..... But I insist to stay for a little more while in the office. I know I can't drive, ... or to put it in a more appropriate manner - its not safe for me to drive because there's just too much things in my head.

All I need is just a minute or two to myself.

Things aren't smooth at work. I'm fed up rushing projects after projects.
Home aren't any better either. Decisions after decisions. Problems after problems.

I need to let it out. My head is bursting..

Tell me its all gonna be okay. Tell me everything is gonna be alright
Tell me its all gonna be okay
Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tell me its all gonna be okay

12 items pending (and still counting)

7 clients involved

No. of clients ignored so far : 6

Estimated days per project : 3 working days

3 x 12 = 36 days

Tentative dateline for the last item on the list : 27.12.2006

Today is 06.12.2006

I've only got a pair of hand

( Extra helping hand : None at the moment )
Tell me its just all in my head
Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tell me its just all in my head