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Midnight thoughts

I have been thinking alot lately. Most of the time at the middle of the night.

I have been thinking alot lately. Discrimination is indeed cruel. Being discriminated is horrifying. It is upsetting. It is very restrictive.

I have been thinking alot lately. I have been trying to make myself a happier person. I have been forcing myself to think it that way. I have been forcing myself to accept all the differences, all the cruel facts. I have been forcing myself to think that this is not the end of the world.

I have been thinking alot lately. I am afraid of losing friends. But more than that, I'm worried I could cause more problem than it already does.

I have been thinking alot lately. I am tired. I wanted to cry out loud, so loud like it would be the last time I would be crying. But I have been telling myself there isn't much point in doing so.

I have been thinking alot lately. Every little thing triggers me to think about the possibilities of affecting others. I am terrified. I...

I have been thinking alot lately. Shall I die tomorrow, what do I want to make out of the most today? Spend all my money? Do what I like? Or just do nothing?

Perhaps I should stop thinking. But you wouldn't understand. It is not that easy.