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Just let me rant for the night..

I hope to move out.
Just somewhere away from home.
It doesn't matter where.
It doesn't matter who I'd be living with.
Doesn't matter if I'd be doing fine.
I just want to get out of this place, away from the people.
No, its not even about the people.
Its away from frustration.
Its about the way we work things out.
And we're not working anything out.
Its always back to square one.
And thats what pisses me off.
Perhaps you'd never understand why.
I don't need you to.
I don't intend to tell you my reason either.
I need a space.
No, I don't have any.
All I need is just some privacy.
And I know I wouldn't be getting any.
Being the discreet one at home, I don't have my say of words.
I'm always the middle person.
I hate to be one.
I'm fed up with the way people deal with each another.
I'm fed up with myself.
I'm sick with this place.
Sick.. no, thats not even the right word.
But its not 'upset, disappointed' either.
I hate it when you kept comparing us with others.
I hate it when you places 'hope' on me.
I'm never your 'hope'.
I don't want to be your 'hope'.
Someday, I'd disappoint you.
Someday, I'd go against your will.
In fact, its already happening.
Enough, carrying the nice role at home.
I don't like it at all.
Its an ugly mask I put on.
If I have a choice...
I'd rather not put so much effort.
I'd rather not make it 8 years ago.
I'd rather...
That's how bad things are.
I noticed I am changing.
Yes, I know you noticed too.
Not my intention to do so.
Situation at home forces me to.
Don't be surprised if I'd walk out someday.
Don't be..