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All things come to he who waits

I've waited for a year and a half now.. and I'm still waiting. Its obviously not healthy to be so conscious about it. I've repeated this for at least a few hundred times now - "When it comes, it comes, no rush" but I never really meant it once myself.

Relationship. Partner . Soulmate?

I'm pretty sure I can live without it. But its a good-to-have kinda thing and I thought to myself at times, so what was I waiting for then?

Chemistry's missing - thats for sure.

A friend of mine used to tell me that her low self esteem often pulls her back from a potential relationship. She doesn't feel that she deserves to be loved by anyone. Its rather 'stupid' if you asked me... but now, I'm slowly digesting it - I'm beginning to feel it, and that's bad.

Why am I pulling back?

I mind the fact that I'm just 'ordinary' - in the sense that I'm not gifted physically nor intellectually. I mind the fact that I've always lead a single life and I'm a rather selfish bastard myself - I'm not used to taking care / taken care of. Sure, its all about compromising but that's something I'm not very good at.

.....

..... I don't know why am I posting this up. Its absurd.

I'm going to see him tomorrow. Will see how it goes.