• Share it :

Head or Tail..

What a November this year! I know its only the 24th day now and its too early for me to say that. But I can't help it. Its been too shocking-ly puzzling! This happened, that happened, and now This happened. Everything moves at such a fast pace that I don't even have time to digest anything (not to mention *BREATH*) and, hoo-boy to make things worse, I'm part of every single shit, whether I like it or not - torn in between makes it even worrrsss*faint*ee.....

I don't have time to talk to Oli yet, I don't have the time to feel whats it like to have shifted downstair now, I don't have the time for my family, I don't have time for my friends and obviously recently, I don't have time for Qiqi either, Sotong even.

Whoooshh.. everything comes in one shot at full speed. Whoosshh... I was called in to discuss this....WHooooshh.. I was asked to discuss that.... WHoooshhh ... I am part of this.... WHoooshh... I have to do this... Woosh Woosh Woosh... I'm SO TIED UP (at work).

( In fact, while I was typing this, an assistant manager actually calls up - and guess what? I'd have to Whooosh back to the office early tomorrow to revise some cow dung. WOo weeee... )

Then there's also -

Whooshhhh... she wants to talk to me about him..........Whoooshh he wants to talk to me about her... Whoooshhhh.... she wants to talk to me about them... WHoooshhh he wants to talk to me about this.... Woosh Woosh Woosh... I'm SO TIED UP (on a personal level).

I would, if I could, sit down and have a proper conversation with each and everyone of you. I would, if could, work even faster so that I could juggle between jobs and please each and everyone of our clients possible and help lighten up you peeps' workload too. But the thing is I can't. I only have a pair of hands, a pair of ears, and a mouth to spare. Of course, I can multitask and do alot of things simultaneously, but that means I won't be throwing a 100% doing my job, or talking to you. Point-mana?

All this that has happened lately builds up to unneccesarry pressure. Technically speaking, I don't have to face all this, but I choose to, because I care. Because I know some of you needs my help. Because I know some of you have no choice. Because I know some of you have your own reasons. Question: How do I know so many things?

bCoz I'm the middle person of everything. And you guys shaped me up into such roles! Everything would just come to me whether I want to get involved or not. That's not very nice isn't it? Always in the loop of knowing 2 sides of a coin. That's WHY I'm feeling it now! You have no idea how fucked up my life has been within this month alone (more appropriately, this month in the office alone). Doing things that contradicts to my own will, saying things that contradicts to my own will, .... not to mention blogging out my own feelings also kena tiao ... all because ?

To keep everyone happy while at the same time trying to comfort myself that I still can be me -lor.. what else? To convince myself that things CAN and WILL work out well as long as I try to neutralise both parties and plant in them, a seed of patience and perseverance.

However, I can be so wrong. And I'm starting to see it already...

If I'm a colour, I'm so much a grey now.. *knock myself to the wall*