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I should learn to fuck Off

At first, I planned to blog about something nice. I was in quite a cheerful mood today. I wanted to blog about the compliments I received, I wanted to blog about the wrong number incident that happened days ago in the office. I was so looking forward to add in one more nice happy entry before 2006 comes to an end. But Heck, seriously.. you can never expect what comes along in the next few seconds - that occurs to me, was a severely fucking shit which got me bloody down at the moment, I had wanted to shout out loud. Friends were out clubbing, No one's online. I desperately need to talk. I need to rant. I'm so FUCKING PISSED right now, I'm breathing heavily I can feel my tears flowing out anytime soon. All I want is just peace at home. Is that too much to ask for?

I don't mind staying home. I don't mind what my friends say. I don't mind if I don't have a piece of my LIFE. I chose not to go out. I chose not to hang out with my friends. I know I'm needed at home - and thats what kept me here. HOME. Now I don't need you to be in perfect shape, I understand you have your issues to deal with, but so do I, so does everyone else in the household. All I look forward is just a quiet night where I can do my things, you can do yours - we don't interrupt each other. I don't know what's the fucking problem with you and your shit ass brain. Can't you just goddamn look after yourself once in your entire life? Is that so hard to do?

Life doesn't only revolved around you. We can just dump you aside and not do anything. We can just disappear from your life if you find us annoying. Speak up your fucking mind. I felt so stupid now for staying home when I could've spent more quality time with my friends. I don't need you to appreciate my presence here at home because I know you'll never fucking understand why. I am tired too. All of us are tired. There is just too many things on-going, and there's alot of things I can't speak up as spontaneous. I have to hide alot of things to myself. Its not easy for me. Not at all damn you! NOT at all. Why must I face the same shit at my workplace and at home? If I could, I would've say alot of things out. I would've shut your god damn mouth even if its gonna turn bad. The good news for you is I can't. And I can never do that - not in front of her. She's what that matters. NOT YOU. I don't give a fuck about you since the beginning. I don't want her to suffer. She deserves her own life too. She's not obligated to take care of fools who doesn't even know or plan to take care of themselves. I felt for her, not you.

I really can't see what I can learn from you. Thats how bad your impression is - and you're aware of that yourself. Yet you never learn. You would never ever in your entire life tolerate and understand what your family really wants from you. All you know is you're always right. You're so fucking right about evertyhing and every fucking man by your side would have to bow to you and to your orders.

I don't know how to respect you. Perhaps you can teach me and show me what's there left for me to do so?