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Not the perfect choice, but good enough!

The plan WAS to meet up with P, but W came into the picture all of sudden. I had trouble deciding who to go out with. I feel much more comfortable with W, he makes me.. myself. P, on the other hand, is nice but a lil' jumpy on things and I don't quite feel connected to him, even as friends. So I cancelled the plan with P, and went out with W instead.

I felt bad. Yes, b-a-d.

Anyway, so.. ya. I know I've been mentioning about W every now and then for the past 6 months and you guys are probably too sick upon hearing his name too. I thought I was hopeless too. But this meet up is great - I know I picked the right choice. No its not about finally having him as my particular significant someone (by the way thats history - I'm not even gonna look back).

I felt the change in me, myself. I don't look at W the way I used to, anymore. I felt a greater bond between us, but more of as buddies and not so much on the 'hopeless-desire' string anymore. Its excellent. We talked more than usual. I like him. What WE didn't realized was that it has been 6 months apart since we last met. And within this particular 6 months, he WAS actually attached... then unattached again. I'm lying if I say I don't feel anything. It hurts to know, yes.. but it wasn't really that bad. A few good laughs and all that - washed off.

I'm cool. I know certain things aren't meant to be pushed. We'll meet up more often, but as for now, W needs plenty of focus on his new job and we'll try doing a lil' catching up on weekends when we're both free.

And as for P, I dunno.. I thought perhaps I'll make another appointment with him - but little do I know, he's a real PITA - making things sound as though its MY fault. The more I felt THE decision of meeting up with W instead were DAMN rite! - Who do YOU think you are? Its not just YOU who decides whether I'm good enough to be your friend. I have the same privilege too 'scuse moi. So don't try to overpower me in the conversation. We're equal mind you. Talk about being the supreme self-centered homosexual in the universe. You are so at it, sheesh.

No wonder I don't click well with them - I can never send my messages across. They'll never understand, I'll never get their jokes and vice versa. Of Chinese and Bananas.. Sorry, I don't intend to pinpoint anyone here but... Its really bloody hard to start up a conversation sometimes, HONEST. I tried... I really did. But if you don't appreciate it, fine.